How to find non violence
Where does one go to find nonviolence? I think if we look at all the violence around us in the world the answer to this will not be simple. And most people that I work with aren’t in immediate danger, certainly not from outward violence. So however there is a need to find more non-matter in terms of the constant stressful suffering mental, biological, spiritual, emotional. Does one have to be completely from everything in order to be in the state of nonviolence? Or the answer to that is that is not even a question of a possibility that somebody can live in the world and yet be completely detached. So given the fact that we live in certain limitations, such as a limited time in our life span, there are limits our conditioning places upon us, and the limits that our own mind places upon us. Ask yourself what is an example of an inner conflict I have which causes me to waste my time worrying about it and to never make a decision? Is it because i have a hard time listening to my own suffering? One side beats me up and the other side is tired. Because during times of transition and change a lot of the basic fight or flight survival instincts also kick in. When this additional stress makes it more difficult for a person to be at peace or at least less conflicted, making one small objective, one small baby step, can help a person to see if there is possible hope. Whatever small step it is it doesn’t matter. But it has to be something the person wants not what they should want. People are often stronger than they give themselves credit for. Often times they have already strengths which have helped them. In any kind of therapy, being a collaboration, building upon previous therapy by asking what was helpful can help to connect with a person. it takes to account each individual preference. And some people may be more open to starting off sessions working on more peripheral or less complicated problems. During the getting acquainted stage people may state what their opinions are and the clinicial may decide if the opinions are helping or hurting say for an example in a marriage. Some people ask for this clinician’s opinion which seem demanding but are cultural shows of respect. But really hearing a person out often brings the person to self correct. And then later on they feel comfortable enough with the boundaries of the therapeutic alliance so that they can try to be more open minded.
It is not so strange that often young people with eating disorders in their history have begun to realize that now having the opportunity to decide what food they eat gives them freedom of their body. The amount of social control in some traditional families is certainly demanding obedience, abusive and neglectful. A child grows up in America and sees that abuse is not acceptable and that also adolescents are expected to rebel from their families. This produces an inner conflict, sort of trapped in the middle with no escape feeling. Sometimes this could be a cause of what is categorized as a reactive passive aggressive behavior or personality disorder. Let’s say that passive aggressive behavior is caused by a fear of not getting what a person wants. That fear causes a person to be like the frozen deer in the headlights, unable to move, shut down. So often in therapy a person needs to talk for hours, weeks, years, to get over this level of trauma. Interestingly, if a person is going to therapy or getting help in someway, that there can be continual progress in the persons actual life and quality of life. That having the support of an active listener a kind of a integrative sounding board is very helpful. Taking time in therapy to reflect helps a person to be less conflicted and more focused.
Ahimsa non violence
How to find non violence